DISCLAIMER: The Boss in this blog post is fictional. Any similarity to actual bosses, living or dead, is purely coincidental. No bosses were harmed in the writing of this post. If you’d prefer something warmer and fuzzier, try this.

Hey, Underling:

On this Monday, October 17, 2016, I thought it would be an opportune time to let you know that your efforts are appreciated!

You finished those TPS reports long before anyone else in the department did, and I got such a pat on the back from Mr. Smith for getting them in early! He told me that I was a “wunderkind.” No one has ever called me that before! Good thing he didn’t realize that it was you who did them instead of me. But I am a born delegator. That’s what bosses do, right? LOL.

And then there was that time Corporate decided that it couldn’t afford pay increases for anyone at your level or below. I heard a lot of people complaining about that, but never a peep out of you. Thanks to your sacrifice, I was able to make a down payment on my beach house. As somebody once said (pardon the pun!), “A rising tide lifts all boats.”

Speaking of rising tides and boats, I’m planning to have a get-together at my new beach house in a few weeks. Can you come over and serve and clean up after everybody leaves? Gas prices aren’t too bad right now, and there are some budget motels nearby, so it shouldn’t be cost-prohibitive for you. Plus, THE BEACH!!!!!  :-D 

Of course, you can take the leftovers home, and you won’t have to bring back the dishes until Monday. Just a suggestion, but those Cascade pellets work really well.

Well, anyway, you are an asset to this company, and I’d like to think that I deserve the credit for being such an awesome mentor. That is why it surprised me when I got to work today and didn’t see golf clubs, or a “World’s Best Boss” mug, or even a card at my desk. In fact, when I passed you in the hallway, all you said was, “Hi.” I would never have expected you to forget that this is Boss’s Day what day this is.

But I think it was officially yesterday (Sunday), so maybe that’s why. Maybe you were confused because today wasn’t the official day, but it was the first business day after the official day, making it the day. But it doesn’t matter. Water under the bridge. (Boy, I must have “water on the brain” today!)

All kidding aside, can you call HR and find out the deadline for me to complete your performance review? I can’t remember the exact date, but I think it’s coming up pretty soon.

The Boss

Image Credits: World’s Worst Boss by Scott Garner, flickr, Creative Commons license. Cascade pellets by me.