Satanic Band Is The Diet Coke Of Evil, Employment Lawsuit Shows

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Just one calorie – not evil enough.

Satanic heavy-metal band Ghost is at risk of having its “evil mystique” ruined by some mundane employment-related disputes with former members of the band, according to an article in The Wall Street Journal. Since WSJ articles are behind a paywall, here is an excerpt:

“Ghost, a Swedish heavy-metal band, built a cult following over a decade using demonic pageantry and rhyming lyrics like “hypnotizing horns of ram” and “paralyzing pentagram.”

A Nameless Ghoul

Band members perform in eerie masks and keep their identities secret, adding to the group’s mystique.

It all worked like a charm—until a recent lawsuit unmasked the satanic musicians as a bunch of earthly beings. In court papers and other documents, band members discuss such pedestrian matters as salaries, tour buses, laundry arrangements and how concert venues should prepare the bananas in their backstage spread.

“Don’t put any fast food under our noses,” the band tells venues.

***

Four Nameless Ghouls are now suing Papa—a 36-year-old whose real name is Tobias Forge —in a Swedish court. They have accused him of financially shortchanging them and reneging on an agreement to make them partners and distribute the band’s profits equally.

The suit identified all the band’s members and has divided fans world-wide. Some have pored over the court documents and soaked up the behind-the-scenes details, while others resent the revelations for ruining Ghost’s spooky image. The dispute “really messed up the whole mythos of the band,” one fan complained online. “The lawsuit reduces them all to boring, flawed people.”

It reminds me of this old Far Side cartoon.

Maybe Papa should have settled the case to preserve the band’s evil reputation. The agreement could contain a disparagement clause and an admission of liability.

DISCLAIMER: Because of the generality of this update, the information provided herein may not be applicable in all situations and should not be acted upon without specific legal advice based on particular situations.

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