This past week I’ve been pondering a question of great importance: When might a straitjacket double as a life vest? The answer actually arrived last Monday during INTA’s “The Ethics of Trademark Bullying” panel discussion at the 135th Annual Meeting in Dallas, Texas.

In so many words, our good friend and wise guy Ron Coleman, over at Likelihood of Confusion, described the “trademark bullying” panel as, let’s say, rather muzzled. While I agree that one had to strain to hear any insights, perspectives, or opinions, I prefer the more comprehensive straitjacket metaphor (Hannibal Lecter style) over the mere muzzle, because it obstructs well beyond simple vocal chord vibrations and stills the wildest of “dangerous” body language too, even the likes of this little guy’s gyrations. Yet, Ron critiqued the audible portion of the panel discussion and explained the unfortunate situation this way:

“Similarly, want to talk about trademark bullying?  Briefly mention two or three examples (oddly enough, using “the same examples you might find mentioned in this article) and conclude that they’re not really bullying (kind of like in that article, actually!) (and no — don’t cite the article!  Duh!).  Apologize for not discussing any actual examples of trademark bullying because doing so might offend a the-INTA member company, or, aw shucks, one of my clients, wouldn’t you know? (This actually happened – again resolving, definitively, my original dumb question.)  Then come around to the edgy, original conclusion that maybe we shouldn’t write dumb cease and desist letters any more — you know, what with these crazy kids and their Intertubes and all.”

“It’s easy to crack wise, but the reason, Mr. Wiseguy Blogger, those guys are up there on the panel and you are not is that the people on the panel understand what to say and when to say it.  And when not to say it.”

“And, not to get to all Kurt Gödel about this, but you.  Do.  Not.”

A non-attorney friend of mine recently described how he plans to provide valuable insights and information on his forthcoming blog, but he also “will certainly poke the bear.” The “bear” in his non-legal industry, that is, not a cute, cuddly teddy bear. So, if INTA is an industry bear, Ron, consider it poked (more than a few times). Well, I suppose, it’s not my first time either.

Anyway, back to the problems with INTA’s ”trademark bullying” panel discussion (after seeing IPKat’s similar perspective, does that make this post the “tipping point” on the subject?).

In short, Caveat Emptor (“let the buyer beware”) was the word of the hour.

There were so many caveats offered by the moderator at the outset, I lost track of them, except this one: To avoid offending any trademark owners or their counsel, the panel would limit themselves to “just the facts,” no opinions or “judgments” about whether any “trademark bullying” lines have been crossed.

Call me crazy, but I’m thinking more than a few trademark types pay four figures to register for the Annual Meeting, expecting more than legal facts (facts without analysis or opinions can more easily be found on most Big-law firm websites and blogs) — instead, hoping for some valuable insights, perspectives, and well, opinions on the subject at hand, but by all means, answer some questions (or, at least ask some questions of the audience).

Perhaps the juxtaposition of these images says it all:

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, if some other form of “time” actually had “permitted” and the panelists actually had been inclined or “permitted” to share their opinions or “judgments” about the examples or topic, what might you have asked them about trademark bullying?

Last, while we’re on the subject of caveats, INTA might be wise not to forget this one: Caveat venditor (“let the seller beware”). If INTA doesn’t remove the straitjackets from their speakers and also find qualified speakers who won’t self-impose them, the number of trademark types filling nearby hotel rooms to attend the UN-TA may begin to outnumber those paying four figures to register for the official INTA event.

And, recognizing the heavy dose of irony contained in the coming link, when will “ambush marketing” begin to target INTA events?

It’s such a slippery slope.