Fighting Words


Some judicial opinions and orders are ensconced in legal lore. For example, in Avista Management Inc. v. Wausau Underwriters Ins. Co., 6:2006cv00054 (M.D. Fla. 2006), an apparently exasperated judge ordered counsel to settle their a dispute over the location of a deposition through a game of "rock, paper, scissors." Many infamous judicial utterances have come from Judge Samuel Kent in the Southern District of Texas, who wrote in a published order granting summary judgment in a personal injury case, "[t]ake heed and be suitably awed, oh boys and girls - the Court was able to state the issue and its resolution in one paragraph ... despite dozens of pages of gibberish from the parties to the contrary!" Bradshaw v. Unity Marine Corp. Inc., 147 F. Supp. 2d 668 (S.D.Tex. 2001) (also noting that the lawyers had filed some of the most "amateurish pleadings" the judge had ever seen).

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