Don’t let the other side control your negotiations. Parties often will structure their negotiations based on their perception of the reasonableness of the offers or demands made by the other parties.  Frequently, I hear comments such as “if they would be reasonable, we would…” or “they only moved $1,500 so that’s all I’ll move.”

The problem is that what is reasonable to one, is not necessarily (or even likely) to be reasonable to the other. Further, once locked in a mutual pattern of responding in kind to the last move, (or lack thereof) the parties can become trapped far from a resolution. 

Rather than being swayed by perceived insults in negotiating positions, or being trapped into matching small moves, focus on your goal…. a resolution within your acceptable valuation.

Moving independently of the other side’s moves is not a sign of weakness, but is a sign of control. You maintain power by moving based on your goals and avoid being limited by the adversary’s tactics.              

Takeaway:

              1) Don’t allow perceived slights in negotiating positions to affect your plan.

              2) Maintain control by negotiating based on your goals for the mediation.