Obligatory Academy Award post (Will Smith v. Chris Rock)

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Here's how an HR pro would have handled it.

THE OSCAR ALWAYS SWINGS TWICE
By Robin E. Shea

(based on a true story)

There I was, a hard-boiled, cynical, grizzled, war-torn Human Resources professional, working late, as is my wont.

Suddenly, my phone rang. Odd to be getting a call at the office at 10 p.m. On a Sunday.

"HR."

"I'm calling from the Academy Awards ceremony down the street. We need help. Oh, it's terrible!"

"Calm down, calm down. What happened?"

"Are you familiar with Will Smith?"

"The Fresh Prince of Bel Air?"

Will Smith in happier times.

"Well, yes, but that was quite a long time ago. Now he's King Richard (2021)."

"Sorry. I don't watch much TV."

"King Richard is a movie."

"Well, I don't watch much of them, either. Popcorn is the devil on my crowns."

"It doesn't matter. We are having an HR emergency over here."

"What's going on?"

"Well . . . have you ever heard of Chris Rock?"

"Oh, yeah. He was pretty funny 30 years ago. 'You got change for a hundred?'" Recalling that line made me chuckle. Then I sobered up. "Like I said, I don't watch much TV. Too devoted to my work. Is he still any good?"

"Well, I think so -- but that doesn't matter. Here's what happened. Chris Rock was doing a comedy routine, and -- Have you ever heard of Jada Pinkett Smith?"

"Who?"

"You know -- The Nutty Professor (1996)? The Matrix Reloaded (2003)? Girls Trip (2017)? Oh, never mind. Anyway, she is married to Will Smith. And she shaves her head because she has alopecia. She's still attractive -- in fact, maybe even more so without hair --"

With hair, without hair? Who can tell the difference?

 

"What does this have to do with anything?"

"Chris Rock made a joke about her bald head."

"Hmph. Not very gentlemanly of him. And alopecia could be a disability within the meaning of the Americans with Disabilities Act."

"I know, but I'm not sure he meant it as an insult. He said, and I quote, 'Jada, I love you. I can't wait for G.I. Jane 2.'"

"They made a sequel to G.I. Jane (1997)?"

"No. I said it was a joke."

"So, he was comparing her to Demi Moore of the 1990s?"

"Yes."

"I don't know anything about this Jada person, but I'd say that was a compliment."

"Maybe so. It isn't clear. Anyway, Will Smith went up on stage and slapped Chris Rock in the face."

"That's a serious accusation, ma'am. You got any proof?"

"Yes, the entire incident was on national television. And it's already all over YouTube."

"Hmm. So, how did Rock react?"

"Chris didn't fight back at all."

"Did he cuss Smith out?"

"No. But Will cussed Chris out."

"What did he say?"

"He said, 'keep my wife's name out of your f***ing mouth!' Twice."

"Can you prove that?"

"Yes. That was on TV, too."

"And Rock never fought back?"

"No. This is such a dilemma. Whatever shall we do?"

"Did the cops take Smith to jail?"

"We didn't involve law enforcement."

"Security, then. Did they do something?"

"Nothing."

"Why not?"

"Will's a big star. We couldn't just have him arrested on national TV."

"I reiterate: Why not? He slugged a guy at the Academy Awards ceremony. On camera."

"It was a slap, not a 'slug' . . ."

"Either way, it's workplace violence. Zero tolerance. Out he goes. That's HR 101."

The other end of the phone went silent.

"Are you still there? Is there more?"

". . . don't get mad . . . "

"Out with it!"

"Well . . . he went on to win Best Actor."

"Rock?"

"No. Smith."

"For cryin' out loud."

"I know. But he did apologize and take responsibility for his actions."

"Well, good for him, but that doesn't excuse what he did. Just curious -- what did he say?"

"He started crying, and he apologized to the Academy and to his fellow nominees . . ."

"What about Rock?"

"Chris really didn't have anything to apologize for."

"No, I mean -- what did Smith say when he apologized to Rock?"

"Oh, he didn't apologize to Chris. Just to the Academy and his fellow nominees."

"Nice." I have been known to have a sarcastic side.

"I agree that he should have. But he said, while crying, 'This is a beautiful moment and I’m not crying for winning an award, it’s not about winning an award for me, it’s about being able to shine a light on all of the people.  . . . '[L]ove will make you do crazy things.'

"Now I see how he won Best Actor. Has the Academy done anything?"

"Yes, we issued a statement saying that the Academy did not 'condone violence in any form.'"

"Was that before or after Smith won Best Actor?"

"Very funny. What now? How should we investigate?"

"What's to investigate? You have the whole thing on camera. Smith was the aggressor. Smith hit a guy. Smith was verbally abusive. The worst thing you can say about Rock is that he made a joke that might have been insulting or might not have been. Smith has to go."

"Can you hang on? I'm getting another call. It may have to do with this."

"No problem. I'll wait."

While she took the other call, I went on YouTube to try to find I'm Gonna Git You Sucka (1988) so I could watch that great scene with Chris Rock.

Then she came back on.

"Hi. Everything is fine. Don't worry about it. I'm sorry I bothered you."

"What happened?"

"They just told me for the first time in 15 years, people are paying attention to the Oscars! They want a sequel for next year!"

"Are you kidding me?

"No kidding! This is the greatest night in television. Bye!"

DISCLAIMER: Because this story took place on Sunday night, Will Smith had yet to apologize to Chris Rock. But he did so the next day, on Instagram.

Source for most of this post.

Here's the uncensored clip of the incident (NSFW).

And I would like to thank Memento000 (flickr, Creative Commons license) for the photo of Will Smith playing Nintendo, and Jerry Avenaim (Wikimedia, Creative Commons license) for the photo of Jada Pinkett Smith in 2001. 

DISCLAIMER: Because of the generality of this update, the information provided herein may not be applicable in all situations and should not be acted upon without specific legal advice based on particular situations.

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