Co-parenting counsel is a popular trend in divorce and family matters. In some cases, the parties agree to go to co-parenting counseling on their own accord. In other circumstances, the attorneys in the case or the guardian ad litem recommend the use of a co-parent counselor. Sometimes, the court may order the parties to engage in co-parent counseling.
The idea behind co-parent counseling is that divorcing or separating parties can enhance their communication skills. By communicating more effectively, the hope is that parties will be able to co-parent more successfully. Children benefit when parents are able to work together in a cordial manner. The parties also benefit from avoiding repeated litigation in the family court or disputes.
How Does Co-Parent Counseling Work?
Co-parent counseling works differently in various situations. Some co-parent counselors may have their own preferences. The facts of each case can also cause it to occur slightly differently.
Generally, co-parent counselors typically meet with each party separately to understand them, gather background information, and then develop a plan for moving forward. In some cases, co-parent counselors may meet each party alone for several sessions.
Afterward, the parties are then brought together for joint sessions. The joint sessions might be in person. In some cases, the sessions might be virtual via video conference, where tensions may rise or the parties cannot attend together in person.
The therapist then works with the parties on how to communicate better. Based on the style of the co-parent counselor and the demeanor of the parties, communication might be more free-flowing, with the therapist sitting back and offering suggestions. In other cases, the therapist might have to regulate the conversation in a more structured manner. Therapists might even ask the parties to do some work between sessions.
For parties trying to work well together, co-parent counseling can be much more effective. By learning how to co-parent better, many parties may also end up settling their divorce or family law matter more easily. For example, some parties who successfully engage in co-parenting during the pendency of a case may be more inclined to settle their matter through mediation or informal settlement negotiations.
However, if one party does not wish to participate in co-parent counseling, or if tempers can flare, co-parent counseling can be difficult. Co-parent counseling is also not advisable where there has been significant domestic violence. Often, co-parenting counseling might need to occur for many months or even longer to be successful in the short and long term.
Will Co-Parent Counseling Work?
Many ask whether co-parenting counseling will be effective in a divorce or family law matter, like a paternity case where the parties were never married but have kids. The truth is that there are never any guarantees. Sometimes, co-parenting counseling can be effective where both parties truly want it to work and are invested in the process.
Even where it works, co-parent counseling is rarely simple or easy. After all, if parties were able to communicate effectively, they might not be getting divorced in the first place. Further, in cases where there is mental illness or personality disorders, where there is a high-conflict party, or where one or both parties are not acting rationally, co-parent counseling probably does not stand a good chance of working.
Ultimately, many family courts are fond of parties at least trying co-parent counseling. Thus, most parties need to know what co-parent counseling is and how it works. Some parties have great success with it. Others probably have the opposite experience. If it does work, it can certainly make things better for the parties and the children.
