Reaching a settlement in a divorce or family law matter is easier said than done. For parties who are participating in a collaborative divorce, most are looking for a reasonable settlement. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be participating in collaborative practice in the first place.

But to settle a divorce or family law matter, a settlement is required. That means a settlement on all issues. In divorce and family law, the issues in play might be wide-ranging.

To get there, the parties have to get to a reasonable settlement. A reasonable settlement is in the eyes of the beholder. That’s a phrase that many forget, but is enormously important as it relates to divorce and family law matters.

What’s reasonable to one party might be completely unreasonable to the other. And that’s the difficulty in terms of reaching a reasonable settlement in a divorce or family law matter.

Both parties might have completely different views in terms of what is reasonable. Both parties might have different facts or philosophical views they rely on to form their opinions. Both parties might key on different events and different factors. Both might have carried different baggage into the marriage or relationship.

This is where collaborative practice can help bridge these divide between what each party views as reasonable. With the help of collaborative lawyers, a divorce coach, financial professionals and/ a child custody professional, a dialogue can be opened that is almost therapeutic.

The hope is that more information can be shared, other views listened to and that both parties can learn to listen to the perspective of the other. Then, perhaps, both parties view of what is reasonable can align (or align enough that a settlement can be reached).

While some divorce and family law matters can be so acrimonious that this seems unrealistic, in many cases, this might not be the case. If both parties want to be able to co-parent and get along amicably, collaborative practice is an alternative dispute resolution method that can often be worth the effort.