This blog was originally published in October 2020 and has since been updated.

Holidays traditionally mean more family time. Yet, divorce may be on your mind this holiday season, and if it is, what should you do about it? There are usually two reasons people do not want to get a divorce during the holidays. First because they do not want to “ruin the last holiday together as a family”, and second because they do not want to engage in a battle during a time intended for peace, family, and love.

The ongoing pandemic has brought about an increase in family time, which has its benefits. But if the balance is proving to be more “off” than “on” with your spouse, then you may be contemplating whether going your separate ways is for the better. The truth is that your divorce filing can be accomplished with civility and grace, and can be done in a way to signal your desire for fairness.

Filing for divorce is a necessary step to begin the divorce process. Divorce takes time, and divorce with children involved typically takes longer. While many prefer not to have to file during the holidays for fear it will ruin their “last” holiday as a family, bear in mind that divorce proceeds through the court system at its own pace and there is no need to immediately inform your children of the pending divorce proceeding. Your attorney can help you fashion your divorce filings to carry the tone and intention you want to set for the remainder of the proceedings. After consulting with your attorneys, you and your spouse can devise the best plan to share the divorce with your children. Getting a divorce does not have to be a battle.

While your attorney may be well-equipped to address aggressive divorce tactics, most couples are not interested in spending their life savings to damage each other in the uncoupling. If you are waiting to file for divorce because you do not want to risk battling during the holidays, consider the time it takes to process the divorce through the court system, and the choice you and your spouse can make in consultation with your attorneys to determine your best outcome with the least negative impact on your children. Your divorce can accomplish your holiday goals of peace, family, and love. Make sure to choose the right attorney to help reach the right result.

For former partners with children that have already gone through or are in the middle of the divorce process and are concerned about how to have a civil holiday experience, please refer this article on Co-Parenting During the Holidays: Top Tips for Parents from 2House.com. This resource goes more in depth on information including:

• Talking to your children
• Making arrangements ahead of time
• Working past bad feelings