Keypoint: As we break for the holidays, we wanted to wish you and your families happiness and health, and leave you with an attempt at some privacy holiday humor. We look forward to bringing you more privacy news and analysis in 2022.

A Privacy Christmas Story

‘Twas the night before Christmas as I toiled away,

Counting the minutes until Christmas day,

When all of a sudden from out of the blue,

I received a meeting invite from Santa that’s who,

You see Santa’s been watching as all over the globe,

Countries (except the US) have enacted privacy codes,

Santa, he said, would like to comply,

So he asked if I could give it a try,

[After clearing conflicts, receiving a retainer and entering into an engagement letter …..]

I said to St. Nick, tell me what it is that you do,

He said, it’s really very simple and true,

I spend my days monitoring the behavior of minors,

To create profiles of who’s good and who’s a whiner,

I do this all from a location far away,

That has no real legal structure in any way,

In recent years I have migrated my files to the cloud,

With servers in the US, Russia and Laos,

Kids and their parents have no rights to my work,

No deletion, access, portability or such perks,

No transparency or notices you will find

No opt out of sales, targeted advertising, profiling or the kind,

I keep all my records indefinitely,

All the way back to 270 AD,

Do you see any privacy issues asked the old jolly elf,

And I took a few moments to think to myself,

Santa, I said, I see just a few,

Some things here and there for you and I to do,

But seeing as though today is Christmas eve,

And very soon the hour will come when you must leave,

I will only give you good news this night,

You are always willing to accept cookies, which makes you alright!

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