Remember the old joke about the lawyer standing at the pearly gates?  He says he’s 52.  St. Peter answers, “That’s strange.  According to your time records, you’re 89.”

Apparently, home health provider Doris Betts, of Kansas City, Kansas, hadn’t heard the joke—or didn’t get it.  So when the Kansas Attorney General and HHS Office of Inspector General saw that she had billed over 24 hours on each of 750 days—frequently claiming to be in multiple houses simultaneously—their suspicions were naturally aroused.  Those suspicions were confirmed when they determined that Doris is only 55—not 114—years old.

So last week Doris had to plead guilty to health care fraud.  Prosecutors are seeking 18 months in prison plus restitution of a quarter million dollars.  Eighteen months is a long time, but Doris figures that with her time-tracking system, she should be out in six.