Topic: Concerned Trucker Says, “Slow Down Bear Bait”
Part II: Not So Fast Speedie
Today we continue our 3 part “Dear YouDig?” Series to Highlight Highway Construction Safety.
Part I: Be Bright! Live in the Light
Part III: Drop that Phone You Drunken Fool
Dear YouDig?,
I’m a Bull Hauler, and I’m infuriated. Whether I’m runnin’ to the Queen City, cruising to Mardi Gras, dumpin’ in the Dirty, crossin’ the Big Ditch or backslidin’ to the Big D, it never changes. Many times every day my convoy and I eyeball Bear Bait all over the Big Slab–especially in Destruction Zones! Everyone from 4- Wheelers, Ant Eaters, Rooster Cruisers, Buster Browns, Pumpkins to Bed Buggers… say nothing of those crazy Crotch Rockets… are goin’ wild out there.
These Yahoos are puttin’ innocent lives in danger and need to Back It Down! Makes me want to pull up at the Rest-a-ree-a and call my momma. Tell me, fine sir, what is being done about Speedie?
Preeshaydit.
-Guitar Gary, Nashville, Tennessee.
Dear GG,
Thank you for calling our attention to roadway safety. Awareness is 95% of the solution. Ignoring the Yahoos for a minute, let’s talk about what can be done to keep the safety-minded drivers from unintentionally becoming Bear Bait in the “destruction zone.” Good Buddy Gary, motorists will reduce their speed only if they clearly perceive the need to do so.
Whenever feasible, the first work zone reduced speed limit sign should be placed within view of the zone. We already know that a sign alone won’t slow anyone down. Combining the sign with a view of the upcoming zone gives the willing onrushing drivers a clear indication of the potential danger and the need to back it down.
If the sign doesn’t alert the Bear Bait because of the zone’s location, the presence of some Bears in the Air, Bears in the Bushes, Bear Traps and Bears everywhere will cause the drivers to slow down. Otherwise, those Yahoos will end up in the Bear Cage .
–YouDig?
CB Translator:
4 – Wheelers: Passenger vehicles
Ant Eaters: Kenworth T-600 with a sloped hood
Back It Down: Slow Down
Bears: Cop
Bear Bait: Speeding Drivers
Bears in the Air: Cop in plane
Bears in the Bushes: Hidden cops
Bear Traps: Cop with radar
Bear Cage: Jail
Bed Buggers: Household moving truck
Big D: Dallas
Big Ditch: Mississippi River
Big Slab: Interstate
Bull Hauler: Cattle hauler
Buster Browns: UPS Trucks
Convoy: Group of truckers
Crotch Rockets: Fast Motorcycles.
Destruction Zone: Construction Zone
Dirty: Cleveland
Eyeball: See
Guitar Gary: Gary from Nashville
Mardi Gras: New Orleans
Preeshaydit: “I appreciate it”
Pumpkins: Orange Schneider truck
Queen City: Cincinnati
Rest-a-ree-a: Rest Area
Rooster Cruisers: Big fancy truck
Yahoos: Dumb drivers
