More shake-ups at the top for Uber in what’s already been an unsettling month there – NYTimes and WSJ and Bloomberg

Following up on news last week that Bill Ackman was finally done with his grand Valeant experiment, the Times gives us a deeper look at what was really going on with the activist investor’s bet and ultimate $4 billion loss – NYTimes

The official lengths to which Wall Street will go to try to inject some ethics into an industry where “aggression is a virtue and making money a necessity”?  About 54 miles [for Citi, at least] – WSJ

Bloomberg’s giving a little love to the Fed and other central bankers – Bloomberg

A common remedy linked to the MBS-related settlements of the past 5 years has been a healthy dose of “consumer relief” requirements. But it turns out that in practice, such relief has often taken the form of big banks [think Deutsche Bank, for example] snapping up distressed mortgages at discounted prices or even lending money to the hedge funds and PE firms already doing that work. More on this unintended consequence of the settlements here – NYTimes

Here’s the little secret about private equity firms that makes them so powerful: because of debt markets, they usually win even when they lose – Bloomberg

Netflix for cars?  Don’t laugh.  GM’s already making it happen – WSJ

To be fair, with the actual amount of clothes-mending, hard labor, and masonry going on in most of our lives these days, the thimble, boot, and wheelbarrow probably won’t be missed all that much.  But a T-rex, rubber ducky, and penguin?  You’ve gone mad, Hasbro.  MAD – NYTimes